Drink Budweiser or it will kill these horses

We can only hope that this article is joking. The Budweiser Clydesdales are so well known, surely the Budweiser company could sell them, if they are deemed unprofitable. (Caution – foul language used in article) ~ HfH

From: AV Club
By: Sean O’Neal

clydesdalesAmerica, a proud nation of cerevisaphiles who demand only the finest of ales, lagers, and stouts to piss through their bladders every 15 minutes, has decided that Budweiser is no longer good enough for its public houses, cotillions, or loaded Doritos. According to The Wall Street Journal, the onetime “King Of Beers” is experiencing declining sales, rejected—like all monarchs—by Americans who demand the freedom to choose from a wider democracy of beers, and possibly even some that don’t taste like fermented gutter runoff. Indeed, it’s been determined that some 44 percent of drinkers aged 21- to 27-year-olds have never even tried Budweiser, so vast are their choices, so selfish are their dads. So naturally, Budweiser is threatening to kill some horses.

Faced with this younger, millennial crowd who prefers to Instagram photos of craft beers, and has never experienced the sort of soul-draining factory job that numbs you to the point of Budweiser tasting “good enough,” the company is rethinking its marketing campaign, beginning with its classic Clydesdales. A mainstay of Budweiser ads for more than 80 years, the iconic stallions have long been used to symbolize the “integrity, perfection, and team spirit” represented by the brand, as well as the fact that Bud kinda resembles horse urine.

But as the Journal reports, the horses are already being put down in favor of those “#HolidayBuds” commercials, where twentysomethings look into their trendy webcams and call out the pals they’d most like to settle for cheap beer with this holiday. Meanwhile, Budweiser is concentrating on sponsoring things like food festivals—because “50 percent of 21- to 27-year-olds identify themselves as ‘foodies,’”…

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  • Lisa

    It is a spoof, it is not true, please don’t get your panties in a bunch- jeeesh

    November 25, 2014
  • Mustang Man

    Budweiser still sells over 12% of the worlds beer. Last I knew the horses and stables still belonged to the Busch family, not the Belgians that bought Anhauser busch.
    I still am amazed of the crap beer people pay a fortune for just because some yahoo down the street bought a book and started putting the over hopped crap out. I tired it for several years and other then the original micro brew, Anchor Steam from San Fran I would not exaggerate to say 90% of the stuff taste like fermented dog crap. Bud has never been one of my favorites but its miles ahead of the new beer crazed idiots buying all that micro brew stuff.

    November 25, 2014
  • Morgan Griffith

    I wrote to Bud and in answer to their question if I were to grab a Bud with a friend who would it be………a Clydesdale. Oh but the Clydesdale’s aren’t around. They responded that they would be featured in safe driving ads and the Super Bowl. I told them they could run both ad campaigns. I suggest writing so that they know we want our big horse friends.

    November 25, 2014
  • Daryl

    This has to be bull shit.
    Use different commercials to catch the younger set, and leave the horses In them , no one does it like you do…you might loose every one if you kill those horses, bad move…

    November 25, 2014
  • Nancy Albin

    They better not!!! As much Bud me & mine have bought through the years they should give us a clydesdale for X-mas geeze

    November 25, 2014
  • Nancy Albin

    & what exactly do you mean “KILL” ?

    November 26, 2014