"The Blue Juice"
One of my favorite ponies, Harvey, had liver failure. In the final hours he literally went insane, blindly stumbling around, uncontrollable, continually running into trees and walls. When the Doctor finally arrived the first 120 cc's of Sodium Pentobarbital had almost no effect, the next 60 cc's finally put him to sleep, snoring like a baby. After spending two hours with him, trying to keep him from beating himself up, I can't tell you how wonderful it was to see him at peace. It took another 60 cc's to get his heart to stop, twice as much as a normal horse. Harvey deserved a peaceful end.

There are two legal ways of ending a horse's life peacefully, Sodium Pentobarbital, the "Blue Juice", or by a bullet shot correctly. Both are quick, painless and effective. The bullet is messy and there is a high degree of danger from a misplaced shot, of hitting someone else and of causing a total wreck during a highly emotional situation. We never recommend the bullet unless there is no other choice.

Pick the place with care. Think of how you will dispose of the body - burial, renderings, burning - and consider how the body will be removed. Putting a horse to rest in a stall should be avoided if at all possible. Outside, in a pasture close to where he will be buried, is best, or close to a road if the body will be removed.

A Doctor of Veterinarian Medicine must, by law, administer the shot. Usually he'll have two large syringes full of a blue liquid, the Sodium Pentobarbital. He may want to give the horse something to calm him first, then the first needle goes in the vein along the neck. Your horse is almost instantly unconscious, transposed from wide awake to a deep sleep. He doesn't feel the drop to the ground, nor anything after that. The next syringe is used to stop the heart. There might be some spasms, leg twitching or other muscle movements, but they are NOT a conscious action.

If you've ever been in an operation you should remember those moments when the anesthesia took effect. You're counting down from 10 or telling a joke and then you're instantly asleep. Same thing with the horse - a very sound and deep sleep. There is no pain, no thought of fear, just sleep, and then his heart stops. I wish humans could die that peacefully.

Healing Yourself
Now comes the hard part, healing yourself. There are probably people around, friends who want to hold you, spouses, children, all of them with words that, right now, have no meaning. And there might be other horses, your horse's best friends. All of you need to spend a moment alone, reflecting, remembering, bringing yourself back to life.

First lets talk about the other horses. We always let the other horses come see the body. They need to do this, to understand what happened. The one time we didn't the horse's mate wandered the pasture for days hunting for her, neighing for hours on end. Let them know what happened. Horses understand more than we give them credit for. They need that few minutes with the body.

And so do you. You'll probably cry, and there is nothing wrong with that. I'm a 60 year old crusty cowboy and I cry. I'll shed tears because of the injustice of it all, because I couldn't do more, because I feel like I failed and because I'll miss them. I'll want to be alone, want others around me, laugh inappropriately - in other words, I'll be a tangle of emotions. I'm human, and that's the way humans are. You are too, so let it out. It's okay.

Kids suffer more than anyone because they don't see the larger circle of life and death. The one's I really worry about are those that don't cry, that don't show any emotion. They need someone to talk with them, to help them deal with the boiling pot inside their minds. If you can't, ask someone else to do it. It needs to be handled, soon. If you don't, then don't be surprised when, three years from now, your child is screaming at you because, "...you killed my horse!"

Hopefully, you've had time to make arrangements for disposing of the body. If not, you need to make phone calls, find a rendering person or arrange burial. Maybe someone will help you if you ask them to.

One final thought before we move on - look at the body. There is no more pain, no more questions about the future, no more "what if" situations. As painful as it is, you did the right thing.

Where Did Your Horse Go?
It's a debate I don't get into, about horses and Heaven. Some people believe strongly that there is a better world for them, others think only humans go to Heaven. None of us have proof one way or the other. It's a matter of faith.

Another old cowboy was drinking coffee with me one morning and we got off on the subject of Heaven and horses. I'll always remember what he said. "If horses don't go to Heaven, then Heaven's no place for me." He passed away a few months ago. Wherever he is, I know he's happily scooping poop and filling water buckets for a lot of perfect horses.

Jerry Finch
Habitat for Horses

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